FADE IN INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM - EVENING The gym is decorated with streamers, banners, and balloons. A sign on the wall reads "Welcome Back 20-Year Tigers." Round tables are decorated with paper tablecloths, strewn with beer bottles and paper cups. Couples are dancing, men and women are clustered around tables and standing by the bar. The camera circles the gym taking all this in, stopping at a table where STEPHEN and KARI sit. Their conversation cannot be heard over the new wave music playing until the camera zooms in to their table. KARI ...horsies? Stephen, we're nearly 40 now. I don't think we're allowed to still call them horsies. STEPHEN Next you're going to tell me I can't say 'boobies.' KARI I'm pretty sure 'boobies' is still ok. I don't think men out grow that one. STEPHEN Speaking of growing boobies, did you see Kelly Preston? She didn't have those 20 years ago. Stephen points to KELLY. She is holding a drink and wearing a tight dress that reveals a good bit of cleavage. Four men are standing around her engaging in conversation. Kari looks over and giggles. KARI I still can't believe I'm sitting here talking to Stephen Thomas, who's drunk off his ass. Stephen gives a dopey grin through a heavy eyes. KARI (CONT'D) You used to be Mr. Goody Two-Shoes. Mr. Jesus Freak. You know what everyone used to say behind your back? STEPHEN I know what they're saying right now. Kari gives a questioning glance. STEPHEN Holy shit! Where did Kelly get those enormous boobies! Stephen laughs uproariously. Kari rolls her eyes. STEPHEN So what did they say? KARI 'What Would Stephen Do?' STEPHEN Oh they did not. KARI They did. STEPHEN Nooo... KARI Yesss... STEPHEN Who? KARI Well, you know. Everyone. I think Timmy Schmidt started it. Stephen looks up and points at a group of guys holding beers and wearing letter jackets. STEPHEN You mean that Timmy Schmidt? Kari turns to look. KARI The very one. Mister Iron Man. Stephen lurches to his feet. STEPHEN I'll be right back. KARI Now where are you going? STEPHEN I'm going to go kick Timmy Shit's ass. That shmuck. Kari jumps up and grabs his arm. KARI Oh no you're not. Sit down before I kick your ass. Stephen sits. Kari grins at him and doesn't let go of his arm. Stephen leans forward and puts his hand on hers. STEPHEN How come we never dated? KARI How come you're not a bible thumper anymore? STEPHEN I got tired of feeling guilty for being human. How come we never dated? Kari pulls her hand away and leans back in her chair. KARI I never really looked at you like that, you know? I mean, you were such a nice guy. You were too nice. I would have broken your heart. Stephen leans back. STEPHEN You broke my heart every day. Every time I looked over at you in homeroom. In my stupid little high school way, I was madly in love with you. But you never wanted to be anything more than friends. Hell. I still am. KARI You're drunk. STEPHEN Quite. But I'm still in love with you. And you know what's more intoxicating than this little rum thing? Stephen gestures with his plastic cup. KARI I'm afraid to ask. STEPHEN The way you smell. I can't believe you wear that same perfume after all this time. Kari blushes but looks upset. KARI Ok, Stephen. I think I'm going to go back to my hotel now. But it was great to see you again. Keep in touch. Let me give you my card. STEPHEN Oh no no no. Let me give you my card. Stephen reaches into his suit jacket and pulls out a wallet. He pulls out a card and hands it over, holding it up for her to read. STEPHEN You see what that says? That says Stephen Thomas, Chief Executive Officer. My dot com IPO'ed last month. I'm worth millions. I'm worth a hell of a lot more than Timmy Shit over there, and you're still not interested in me. Bullshit. It's bullshit. KARI When we were in high school, I thought I wanted someone like Timmy. Then I grew up, and realized I wanted someone like you. But it looks like I came to my senses too late. You're just another yuppie asshole now, aren't you? Kari stands and grabs a purse from the chair next to her. KARI Good night, Stephen. Kari turns and leaves Stephen, still holding his card out. She pushes her way past Timmy and HAS BEEN JOCK #1 and HAS BEEN JOCK #2 who are making their way to Stephen's table. TIMMY (to Kari) Hey where's the fire? Kari ignores him and leaves the gym. Timmy arrives at the table and confronts Stephen. TIMMY Hey Stephen. Looks like ten years later, you're still chasing after Kari Hendrickson, and she's still blowing you off. How about that? I guess some things never change. HAS BEEN JOCKS laugh and high five each other as Stephen stumbles to his feet. STEPHEN Hey Timmy. Is it true that Peggy left you for another broad? TIMMY Hey, that's not funny, you little shit. STEPHEN No, no. It's ok. It's very trendy to be gay these days. And Peggy was always pretty trendy, if you know what I mean. TIMMY You know what hasn't gone out of style yet? Me kicking your ass. Timmy starts to set his beer down on the table but not before Stephen grabs a folding chair and smashes him across the face with it. Timmy goes down in a bloody mess. Stephen drops the chair on him. Conversation ceases and the music stops as everyone turns to Stephen and what's left of Timmy. STEPHEN Oh yes it has. Stephen grabs his drink off the table and finishes it in a single swallow. STEPHEN Now THAT, was worth the wait. Stephen tosses the paper cup over his shoulder and realizes everyone is looking at him. STEPHEN What!? You've never seen a drunk have a nervous breakdown and a mid life crisis at the same time? He drunkenly stumbles to the gym's exit doors. He stops and points at Kelly. STEPHEN Hey, Kelly Preston! Nice tits! Stephen pushes the door open and trips through them. FADE OUT